37

Last tuesday, I turned 37. It was a relatively mundane B-day save for
the fact that some jerk stole my folding chairs off my front porch.
That was a real pisser. Now I have to sit on the steps to watch my
neighbors in the morning.

Anyway, the 37 year milestone and the fallout from the housefire in
August have me thinking about life and priorities and such. I really
wish I had some kids. Most friends my age have a smattering of whelps
under their roof.

Of course many of them complain about how they have no time anymore.
Or how they never see their spouse anymore...

It's not easy raising kids. I get it. Guess what - it's not easy being
37 and not having kids. It's not easy watching my friends' kids smile
those special smiles at their moms and dads. It's not easy hearing
stories about friends holding their child close and rocking them to
sleep after they wake up with nightmares. It's not easy watching all
those dreams I had of being a dad slowly slip away into oblivion.

This post may seem angry and despondent. Sometimes I feel that way I
guess. In general not having children just makes me sad. Life is good.
On a regular basis I become aware of the beauty that surrounds me and
I find myself enjoying the moment. Right now I am just savoring the
sadness.

--
Todd