Moving to the Weekend

Rehearsal last night was another good one. We opened with real conversations and people weren't afraid to go deep. It's funny how all of our own problems seem so complex, but when we share them with others they seem to be so commonplace. We are all so different, but so much the same.

The disconnect between the work we do at rehearsal and during actually performances bothers me. Our work during rehearsal seems to be at a significantly higher level than that of our performances. I find it difficult to translate what I know from rehearsal into performance and I'm not sure why. I go for hack moves, cheap laughs. I actually have placed a restriction on myself this week - no swearing. Just a personal goal to be more aware of my use of language, but I noticed it had some beneficial effects during rehearsal last night. I was forced to think more about what I said. I was forced to make intelligent choices and go a bit deeper than I
normally would. I used to bring a notebook to shows and write down a few intentions for the show before we started. I think I need to start doing that again. It helped me have a focus - to specifically be aware of some area to work on and develop.

I just bumped into a former co-worker and friend. He's going through the ringer and just dropped by to see if I was around to talk to. I don't know the guy that well, and it makes me sad to think that I'm on the top of his list of people to talk to. It makes me sad to think he doesn't have better friends than me. It kind of reinforces some ongoing negative thinking. My
b-day is this weekend, and last night my wife asked what I wanted to do. I'd like to have a party, but I only have 2 friends I can think of that I would invite. I have a lot of "friends" at work and through improv, but if I took a job or stopped improvising, I'm pretty sure those friendships would quickly fade. They are friendships based on mutual interests. I guess most people are that way. I guess I should be thankful that I have 2 enduring friends - people I know would be there if everything I have and I am fell away. That's a pretty rare kind of friend to have.