Top 10 reasons my Blackberry is more essential than my left hand

With the recent economic hardships (drink) many companies are looking for ways to cut expenses. My current employer is no exception. Recently the techs in my division were asked by management to provide justification for our institutionally provided Blackberry devices. What follows is my response:

(Note: I work for a hospital which has a strict hand washing policy. Employees are to wash their hands thoroughly, ~30 secs scrubbing with soap and warm water, after every trip to the bathroom)

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My institutional Blackberry is an essential tool to my work as a Sys Analyst II. I use it for the following:

1. Staying in touch with clients and co-workers when I am away from my desk (about 50% of my working hours) via email and Blackberry Messenger app. With my left hand, I sometimes pat clients on the back reassuringly, but my right hand would function just as well.
2. Maintaining a current list of key passwords, volume licenses, and other protected data essential to my job function through the password manager app. I’ve tried writing all of this on my left hand, but the data fades after the multiple hand washings required by institutional policy. Additionally, my left hand is NOT password protected.
3. Making quick notes regarding client incidents using the notepad functionality. Again, I’ve tried this with my left hand, but sometimes a permanent pen is not available for writing on my left hand. The Blackberry does not require a separate writing instrument.
4. Scheduling appointments with clients and co-workers via the calendar. I’ve tried tying strings on my fingers of my left hand, but this hasn’t functioned well. I usually forget what the strings were there to remind me.
5. Managing daily tasks via the task application. Some days, my task list exceeds my five fingers. Doubling up on knuckles has proven ineffective.
6. Reading tech related news feeds via the browser. Palm reading has only proven effective in knowing my personal future. The future of technical innovation is much more muddled and my left palm doesn’t offer much insight.
7. Doing troubleshooting research via the browser (in a pinch). Actually, my left hand has proven pretty effective in troubleshooting. It’s great for checking that the power cord is plugged in.
8. Accessing the Internet/work network via Bluetooth or USB dial-up networking when I am unable to establish a wireless or wired network connection. My left hand has proven completely ineffective as a connection to the Internet. None of my fingers even fit into the Ethernet jack. And believe me, I’ve tried.
9. Remote VPN access via the RSA app. My left hand can change numerical values every 60 seconds, but unfortunately I can only get it to display a maximum of 120 finger combinations. (5 factorial)
   
10. Looking up institutional contact info via People Finder (browser app) or the Contacts app. Again, the hand washing policy is really a problem in this regard.

In summary, the Blackberry is an essential tool to keep me mobile and in touch while serving my clients. I’d still like to keep my left hand, though.